We’ve heard it all before - being a mum is exhilarating, rewarding, challenging and exhausting. Nothing you have ever done in your life will prepare you for motherhood. What isn’t said as often, is that motherhood will prepare you for pretty much any other job you might find enough energy to do. Like being a secret agent. Here’s how you have more in common with James Bond than you might think.
Skill: WITHSTANDING PAIN
One of the defining qualities of being a mother is being able to distort yourself into all sorts of positions to get your kid to fall asleep and then by simple virtue of mind over matter, enduring pain to keep them there because the alternative is worse. I have pulled muscles I didn’t even know I had all to get five more minutes of uninterrupted time on Facebook of sleep for my precious child.
The skill of covert operations is used more than we may realise when it comes to parenting. Misdirection (pointing to a plane in the sky while you take another bite of your secret chocolate stash without being seen) or changing the subject when they cry about missing Daddy.
“Santa Claus is watching and if you don’t put your shoes on right now, he won’t bring you any presents.” I dare you to find me one mum who has never said something similar.
Once the baby is FINALLY asleep, you know exactly how to ninja out of the nursery without being seen or heard, making sure not to step on any noisy floorboards with your commando roll.
Let’s set the scene. Your kid is lying face down in the middle of the grocery store, having taken half of their clothes off and screaming because they need (another) treat. Apparently they now hate the cheese and crackers they loved yesterday – how dare you pack them for today’s trip and they’re STARVING even though they just finished their lunch. Knowing your whole family’s ability to access toilet paper and milk for the next few days relies on this moment, you strike a deal, with one snack of their choice plus an extra bedtime story in return for putting all their clothes back on. Unless of course they’re having a bad day, in which case even the most hardened negotiator will know the only solution is to scoop them up and take them home. Sometimes you don’t negotiate.