So it's two weeks down, four to go, with Christmas, New Year and my sons' 6 year old birthday squeezed in the middle. It's 3:30pm and I am writing this at my desk, with flour on my arms from just baking cookies with my 7 yo 'helping' and I am still in my pyjamas. My desk looks like someone has ransacked it looking for a lost Will and my house looks like the horror childcare centre scene from Toy Story 3.
I feel beaten down, and defeated by my army of small children and their friends, and have started saying yes to Zooper Doopers at 7am in the morning, just to get another 10 minutes sleep. This my friends is Motherhood, in all its school holiday glory! These are the first school holidays I have gone it alone. No childcare, no other half, and no grandparents to help carry the load – and here I am, admitting that I am struggling. Because work in our industry doesn't slow down over Christmas / New Year, it amps up, my list of things to do has become 'the sun will not come up tomorrow if this is not done, everything else can wait' list.
I love that I have the freedom to work from home, make my own hours, go to rank Dance concerts that start at 4pm, and drop off and pick up my kids everyday. But the downside of working from home means you are never really 100% at work, especially when you have little people who rely on you to feed, water, and wipe their bums when required. But running a business also means you never close down. Never clock off. Never compartmentalise office versus home time. Your are 'on' 24/7.
So cue yesterday's supermarket visit. Even getting my kids into the car, dressed and with shoes on is a mighty feat in our household. We finally make it to Coles after hitting EB games bargain bin with $5 they both earned for cleaning their rooms (waste of money, by the way, rooms already trashed). I agree to a small chocolate milk for both of them as they follow me around the shop like snippety, argumentative ducklings. We get to the check out and number 2 says "Mum, she just hit me again!", and in .03 seconds I lost it. Just a crazy woman at the self serve yelling at her kids to stop yelling. This was me. I had become the poor Mother I had scoffed at years ago pre-kids, when I thought I had the magic formula of how to raise them. Well I don't. Luckily for them, I do have the ability to apologise to them, so hopefully they don't grow up too horribly scarred.
So here is a shout out to all the Mum's living through school holidays. To the ones that have one child, or to the ones that have 5 or more in their brood. To the single Mums, the supported and non-supported Mums. To the working ones and the stay at home Mums. I salute you. I hear you. And to those who have never been that Mum yelling at their kids to stop yelling, try not to judge us too much – your day may come.
I would love to hear your experiences!